Rumblings of an erratic soul

He was to meet me right there. The narrow street opened up to the wide expansion of a market place. Crowd thronged every alley even as the cars honked on relentlessly. I took my place by the floral stand and shaded myself against the glare of the mid-day sun. My eyes searched for him...

Years back, I remembered a fine winter morning... and I remembered the thrill of waking up to a Dream. Ever since, within my soul, I continued living it. Each year, I grew up... inch by inch... closer to my dream.

The haunting memories jerked to a loss as my eager eyes settled on a known figure. Across the curve of the lane, I spotted him... right where the sky stooped to touch the earth. Down the road, a string of loaded carts seem to bind us together in a timeless bond. And I knew he found me just when I found him...

For us it has been years. We fell in love with each other long before we met... decades before we even existed. And then, we loved the waves together... ... ...

In the scorching heat of the day, his hand met mine. Together we moved on... across the street, amidst the market crowd, against the blaring sun.

As he walked by my side, I searched on... for him, always for him. I searched frantically through the crowd... looked at every passing car, across every corner, down all the roads that ever were. His hand guided me silently. With the sun & the sounds, and a bunch of urgent hopes, he led my search. For him... always for him.

... Closer to the dream we moved... inch by inch, inch by inch...

Crashing Colors...

Of Reds and Greens... and the Changing Times.
A time when the Religion of the Red makes way for the strangeness of Green...

The Red have kept us 'Green'... for a long, long time. We hope the advent of the Green does not flood our land 'Red'!

A new stage is set.
The Green takes the Vow, as an era comes to a screeching break.

We bow out...
But, we will be watching you...

Never ever...

Never ever let your sense of Morality come in the way of doing what is Right!

... Happily Single...

The days when we loved every minute of the uncannily similar coke-n'-chips evenings, day after day. And we rushed down the roads to reach home before we're 'scandalizingly' late!
We walked, we talked... and we walked-the-talk... endlessly and effortlessly. Year after year.

Bangalore. Rejoining and rejoicing in "Life". The occasional barbeque-evenings (complete with green pudina chatney)... staying awake till the wee hours of the morning... climbing over the fences to reach home after a midnight movie...
Kolkata. I can still hear the echoes of our laughter ringing through the streets. And our endless fights. And the pointless tears.

The just-out-of-school days syndrome (which lasted more than 10 yrs after school)... The days when we flirted just for the sake of flirting... teased each other over non-existent crushes... hated each other... loved each other... watched each others' backs all the time...
The days when 11 pm was NOT bedtime. It was time to start connecting with friends (to give and receive a synopsis of the day)... with colleagues (to discuss office and plan the next day). Our day properly unfolded after 11. (And yes, we did have office the next day!)

All those years we've spent reflecting on the past, wondering about the future... trying to figure out life & its complications...
We've been scrutinized by the not-so-single women. We, at times, have scrutinized those women. Wanted to know what it's like to be in their shoes. Waited for our prince charming to come & sweep us off our feet! And still wanted to retain our independence.

The days when we were single, footloose & fancyfree!

Feeling Grey :(

Do you ever wake up hoping something wonderful would happen to you? Hoping you can smile through the day without the hint of doubt? Hoping that the day will finally take you closer to the dreams you've always had?

I do. I woke up this morning with a hope. A hope of something delightful and joyous... bright and vibrant.
And then... even before I could take a grip on the day... Life poured a can of grey over it all.

So I stumbled and fumbled... and retraced my steps faultingly back to my cocoon. To my dreamlike state of quassi-existence.

Only to start a newer dream. Of a newer day...

Love them simply!

Those simple things of life that make my day...

- Getting long mails or long calls from the ones who matter... (the one-liner scraps are a poor substitute) .

- CHOCOLATES. Chocolate pastry, cholocate ice-cream, all varieties of chocolate biscuits, double chocolate fudge cake, chocolate sauce, choco-shakes. Even choco-flavoured lip-gloss. (yeah, they do exist!)

- Going to bed knowing that i don't have to wake up early the next morning.

- That wonderful blend of a little sunshine interspersed with a little rain.

- The colour Purple. With its related shades of Violet and Mauve! A splash of purple (in vision or in thoughts) brighten my day.

- Going through old photographs and old mails. My dormant rediffmail account is my personal attic. I do try to clean it up at times... but then, there are too many memories.

- Coming across a well-formed string of words (a line or a paragraph)... and churning it over n' over in my mind... till I blend my life in those few words. I guess it's a lot like the way a song haunts you for days. For me, it has always been the words.

- Storms. They inspire dreams. And transport me to the Enid Blyton days of Adventures and Lighthouses.

- The First Rain in Summer. And the dreamy  romanticism my mind invariably associates with it.

- Bourborne biscuits with hot coffee.

- Gifts. Wrapped with bright n' glossy papers. With a bow on top. And stickers. Gone are the days of 'brown paper packages'. Today, the packaging matters the most. What's inside is of lesser significance to me.
(This packaging passion is only applicable to material gifts)

- Sandwiches (in any form and content) for Breakfast. With fruit-juice. Or for lunch. And/or Dinner. I can live on them. Happily.

- Knowing I have friends whom I can wake up even in the middle of the night just 'cause I feel like talking to them.

- A good conversation. With someone who talks well and listens well. To what I mean... not merely what I say. (And who knows me well enough not be presumptuous!)

- Waking up and immediately getting back to the book I was reading the last night. Infact, I love waking up to the warmth of an unfinished book.

- Gliding out of sleep at the dead of the night just to watch him sleep peacefully beside me. It's what I love doing bestest. I actually set my alarm clock (in vibration, ofcourse ! ) to wake me up at an uncanny hour... just for those few moments of serene bliss... till I drift back to sleep again. It makes my day... and it makes my life.

... And The Dark Rain

The rainy nights. Once again!

Yeah, it rained incessantly here in Delhi. For no apparent reason whatsoever. And the nights grew gloomy again... with that unwanted chill in the air... and the neighbourhood sunk into the depths of an eerie silence.

Don’t get me wrong. I have absolutely nothing against the Monsoon. Years back, we had forgotten our differences and had formed a promising new friendship... Me and The Rain. And we still hold strong. And that's just the problem.

The drizzle of the Rain brings forth a rush of old memories. Rain-washed Kolkata. The challenge of taking on the waterlogged streets on high heels. My ecstasy over the 'First Rain in Summer' each year. The dream of a rainbow. Cuddling up with an Enid Blyton in a corner of my bed while it rained a bit, blew a bit, shone a bit... and the weather couldn't seem to make up its mind till it was too late for others to make up their's.

The pittar-patter of the raindrops bring with it the aroma of 'Home'. Of Kolkata. Of plans made and plans spoiled. Of friends and fun. Of my bed back home, with lots of pillows all around me. Of silly dreams, worries and excitements... most of which my present life fail to relate to. Of Ma and Baba... and a younger (and much wiser) version of Me in the warmth of my 'COMFORT ZONE'.

So, back to the Present... on a rainy night, at our home in Delhi... in a room which I now call my own... I lay wide awake. Trying to ignore a burden of memories and to wipe off a shower of irrelevant thoughts.

... And maybe I had dozed off for a while, coz I woke up to be Happy again. Joyful with newer dreams. Blissful with newer expectations. With a guy I didnt even know last Monsoon. A guy for whom right now I believe I can lay down a thousand monsoons of my life.

So bring on the Rain and bring on the Thunder... but I was happy again. Back to my natural sunny disposition at the middle of a dead night.

And as I came to terms with life once more, I hastened to clarify, to explain it all to the Rain. And thus to regain our lost bond... once again! The Rain and I...